I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
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