is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
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