he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
Found my other fake eyelash. In a condom wrapper...
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
Randomize
