Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
She came home wasted 'not wantin to talk about it' so for revenge I woke her up with a dutch oven and she puked all over me and the bed. I can't win.
Dude I told you 22 year olds shouldn't get married
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
the japanese bartender dressed as a cowboy in assless chaps just told me i was too drunk for another shot
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
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