Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
New strategy for telling if someone is drunk: will they attempt to drink a candle if you put a straw in it?
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
Randomize
