Me too!
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
Help me. My dealer just asked me to have a child with him. Sat me down for a heart to heart "he's almost 40 and losing his shit cause he's single and wants babies" talk. How the fuck am I supposed to feel about this????
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
Randomize
