i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
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