I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
Stoned in a petco on a Saturday. I figured out that ferrets can eat themselves out. Just picture it. Never leaving.
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
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