how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
While I was dancing with him in my foil dress he said, "You're like a Chipotle burrito. Don't worry, that's the best complement you could get from me."
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
Instead of texting me to come over, she just sends me a batman symbol.
I don't care if she's a booty call. Marry her.
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
Randomize
