My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
You told him he “could park his dick in your garage”.
Well he didn’t. It shouldn’t be this hard to get a penis.
She's better-looking with the mask on.
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize
