life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
How does it feel to date your dad?
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