Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
Randomize
