Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
My goal in life is to ruin sex for someone. To be so mindblowingly unreal that they can never find anyone like me ever again. So far it's going well.
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
Randomize
