why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
If the people you’re with use the word tequila in a sentence with phrases like hair of the dog or breakfast of champions...run awsy
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