Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
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