if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
Randomize
