I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
Afterwards the first thing I said was, "You know, you're probably the first guy who has ever gotten laid wearing Star Wars pajama bottoms."
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
Randomize
