My secretary told me she wishes she can have an affair with someone in the office (she's separated from her cheating husband)...Umm...Okaaay
covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
I think I wrote "thanks for the free alcohol!!!" in their wedding guest book and I'm almost positive I signed my name
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
Randomize
