I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
It's no shave November. This is our time.
Bring me that man meat
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
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