Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
Randomize
