Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
Woke up with chlamydia and a bruised rib. I'd say my boss is gonna be mad about me not showing up to work, except you know.. it's her fault.
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
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