We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
Whenever you're sad about your life, just remember that I'm on a first name basis with the late night taco bell drive-thru workers.
IN THE MIDDLE OF HOOKING UP, HE IS CALLED AWAY ON AN "EMERGENCY". FUCK THAT, MATT'S CAR IS NOT AS URGENT AS MY THIRST.
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
Randomize
