she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
Just used my flashlight app to find a gummy lifesaver I dropped on the floor
I like how you're utilizing your resources
I arrived home at 7am wearing nothing but my underwear and a fedora. I ate half a dozen deviled eggs. Put Katy Perry on repeat. And cried myself to sleep. We cannot go out on Thursday anymore
my brother has friends over and I can hear one of them screaming from the basement "BREATHE. FILL YOUR LUNGS. LIVE YOUR LIFE." and it sounds like he's doing some motivational speaking down there but that's actually just how he encourages ppl to take bong hits
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
Randomize
