I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
FUCK WHALES
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
Randomize
