At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
im typing and i feel like my hands are on backwards.
Stop texting me, I'm right here.
you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
Randomize
