Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
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