i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
I like how my family gatherings are basically an ugly sweater party just with better beer and wine...
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
I'm the fucking queen of sexting. I just made a blowjob sound so poetic I'm wishing I were a guy just so I could blow me. Learn from me.
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
Randomize
