Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
He asked if I was a pirate because my "arrrrrrrrse" was worth burying. 10/10 for effort, 20/10 for serial killer vibes.
Randomize
