I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
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