It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
I think my greatest accomplishment today was probably using a bottle opener to get the cap off my fourth drink while holding the cat WITHOUT dropping him.
Oh god, what has my life become?
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
Randomize
