White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
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