Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
Randomize
