i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
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