Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
I just want you to know that watching you throw up out of a cab in the McDonald's drive thru was probably the highlight of my night.
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