don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize