I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
Randomize
