two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
Randomize
