just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
It's okay I missed my booty call by two whole minutes so I decided to delete him from my phone and then re-add him as "I am a douchelord"
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
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