vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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