Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
Who wears a wallet chain?!
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
You're talking to someone who was 80% serious about breaking into someone's house and leaving a cat there with our names in a heart tag on its collar
So I stole cocaine from one of my Tinder hookups
And that is the most millennial sentence I've ever said
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
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