I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
this isnt the person you just texted but i have her phone. she disappeared when the bacon came home and she hasn't returned since.
I wish there was a lawn mower version of Roomba so I could just drink and cheer it on from the stoop.
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
Randomize
