What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
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