Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
I just woke up to my family in the living room watching our security camera tape of me last night talking to a stop sign in our backyard... How the fuck did I get that in the yard?
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
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