I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
Randomize
