how can u be prego again
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
Randomize
