Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
Randomize
