Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
It all started with a game of naked twister.
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
Randomize
