if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
The moment when you go to plug in someone else's phone in your car and your lube is in the way. Don't mind that it's just my center console car lube. Normal.
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
Randomize
