the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
My brother is coming home and he is bringing a whole bunch of friends with him. I am making him a cake. What should i put on it?
"Open for business" or "I have condoms" would probably work
Randomize
