Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
They told me I stole 50 buns and a bottle of mayo and would whisper in their ears to look under my shirt to see what was for breakfast... benefit of starting to drink at 9 am
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
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