hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
Memo to the bitch sitting across from me at Swamp: no one thinks you're classy with your Louis Vuitton and your Burberry scarf when you're dragging on that cig like it was the last cock on earth and you needed cum for sustenance.
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
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