had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
Can I come take down that wallpaper yet? I stopped seeing that dude and I need to occupy my time with something besides getting drunk at bingo night and cussing out old people. Also, i'm not sure on the legal stipulations but I might have, unintentionally, committed grand theft auto at some point.
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
Brb crying the tears of my youth
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
So then we ended up at a bar full of navy SEALs and I got one of them to take his shirt off, then I felt him up
I feel like 31-year old me is 21-year old me's hero
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
Randomize
