k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
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