Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
Ran into that hot funeral director in the bar two days after the wake. pretty sure we drunk made out.
Grandpa would have been proud
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
You woke up, looked straight at me and screamed "fuck barbara streisand!" and passed out again
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
Randomize