Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
um i just went through the in-n-out drive thru and meant to ask for my cheeseburger animal style. turns out what i actually said was, can i get that cheeseburger doggy style? been a rough weekend.
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
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