FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
then he tried to convert me to islam
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
I blew past the Governor's motorcade going twice the speed limit and DIDN'T get a ticket. God wants me to get laid.
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
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