Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
Randomize
