Don't you send me to vm
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
Randomize
