sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
I am available for nakedness
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
Randomize
