Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
I spent most of the stoned conversation with my dad proving to him that the Newfoundland is an actual dog and NOT a Snuffaluffagus-esque figment of my stoned imagination, while laughing over the fact there is actually a place caller Dildo, Canada. Have YOU taken time to be a good dad today?
It's 5AM and I just stirred weed butter into ramen noodles. This is not where I expected to be at 30. ...But, hey, getting high off noodles.
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
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