a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
May the power of my ass compel you!!
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
Need ride home. Girls. Stolen keg. Rolling down streets. Horny girls. No condoms. Rescue needed. girls and beer in exchange for rescue and bacon?
I. Hate. You. Where are you, are said girls cute, and how did you know I bought bacon? And how does this always happen to you?
Smarter than the average bear
Randomize
