if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
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