This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
I'm in a dress, surrounded by Republicans, and the bartender just told me he's "out of Jack Daniels" in a very accusatory tone. Shit, is it only 8 PM?
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
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