I hope mine doesn't look like that
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
Randomize
